


The Angel of Arkham

by Redring91



Series: Redring91's MoreLoveForCas 2016 [4]
Category: DCU, Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arkham Asylum, BAMF Castiel, Canon-Typical Violence, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Crack Treated Seriously, Crowley is a Little Shit, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Everyone Loves Castiel, Except those that fear Castiel, Humor, Lucifer is a Little Shit, M/M, Metatron Being a Dick, Minor Character Death, MoreLoveForCas, Sam Loves Health Food, Sassy Balthazar, Some things transcend universes, Trickster Gabriel, Villains, Where is Batman?, Zachariah Being a Dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 02:48:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8353984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redring91/pseuds/Redring91
Summary: -
Everyone in Kansas City knows for a fact that when super-villains want to scare each other, they tell Angel stories. And despite this, or perhaps because of it, the patients at Arkham Asylum – both the ones who hate him and the ones who respect him – all agree on one thing: he is an anarchist, a god of chaos and he loves his Hunter above all else.
-





	

**Author's Note:**

> -
> 
> Written for the #MoreLoveForCas month (October 2016), with a ‘make me choose’ theme for each week.
> 
> Week Four: 17th – 23rd Oct: Heartfelt Moment(s) or Funny Moment(s) (I chose Funny Moments)
> 
> This work is dedicated to my friend Noodly Booty, whose admiration of the fanart featuring Dean as a genderbent Harley Quinn prompted this fic, and also for providing Metatron’s only line of dialogue.
> 
> I had too much fun with this.
> 
> -

-

 

Commissioner Robert Singer hated Mondays. Aside from being the first goddamn day of the week, Mondays meant there was going to be a new file waiting for his attention. Sure enough, he had barely sat down at his desk when there was a rhythmic tap against his door and young trainee Fitzgerald poked his head in.

 

“Hey, Commish.” Garth greeted him; far too chipper than any sane person should be on a Monday morning. “Here you go.” He plunked a file down on the centre of Bobby’s desk. “Complete with USB for the tracks, as per normal.”

 

Jesus, this week’s file was even larger than the last one. He peeled off the sticky note affixed to the front (‘Bobby – here’s praying the Bat makes an appearance soon – Carver’) and held it up. “Well?” Garth shook his head; still no news then. He grunted in irritation and waved Garth off. He scrunched up the post-it note and dropped it in the bin before steeling himself. With the air of a man about to embark into a warzone, he opened the file.

 

-

 

MEMORANDUM

FILE NO: 2016/42

FROM: Director, Arkham Asylum

TO: Commissioner, Kansas City Police Department

RE: Weekly Review 17/10/2016 – 23/10/2016

 

Good morning Commissioner Singer,

 

Enclosed is the weekly review of patient performance and/or incidents at Arkham Asylum. The documentation, compiled in chronological order for your perusal, is as listed below.

 

Transcript #CAS-189

Audio Recording (20161017.1225)

Security Log [20161018_0500>0503]

Memorandum #COVERT-ZA-04

Video Footage (20161018.1438)

Medical – Injury Report #ZA-01

Audio Recording (20161019.1137)

Medical – Injury Report #STF-13 & #STF-14

Memorandum #COLT-R.03

Transcript #BAAL-17

Security Log [20161021_0216>0247-0423]

Audio Recording (20161021.0600)

Memorandum #CAGE-02

Video Footage (20161022.2108)

Medical – Death Certificate #05

Security Log [20161023_0124>0348]

Memorandum #!CAS-DEAN

 

Please attend to each item prior to the panel meeting on Monday 24/10/2016 at 11:00 hours.

 

Regards,

 

Director Carver Edlund

Arkham Asylum

23/10/2016 17:30

 

-

 

ARKHAM ASYLUM SECURITY REPORT

CLASSIFICATION: PATIENT INTERROGATION

FILE NO: #CAS-189

SUBJECT: Castiel (pseudonym ‘The Angel’)

CONTENTS: Transcript of Interrogation conducted RE: Green Room incident

 

COMMENCEMENT: 0930 – 17.10.2016

CONDUCTED BY: Security Guard Ion (ID: SG 053)

 

SG 053: Castiel, you’re going to answer a few questions for us now.

CASTIEL: Am I?

SG 053: Several days ago the Green Room was destroyed by a grace explosion.

CASTIEL: Yes, it was rather noticeable.

SG 053: Where did you get the grace from?

CASTIEL: If you’re insinuating that I stole the grace, I’m afraid I can’t recall where I would have obtained it. I was rather busy last week.

SG 053: Who provided you with the supply of grace?

CASTIEL: I have a much better question for you officer. Where is Batman? I’ve been looking for him for a very long time now, but he’s nowhere to be found.

SG 053: The grace, Angel. Who gave it to you?

CASTIEL: I think it’s very rude of him to ignore me. It makes me want to go on a bender.

SG 053: Where did the grace –

CASTIEL: Must you continue repeating yourself? I thought you said you had a ‘few’ questions to ask.

SG 053: Why did you target the Green Room?

CASTIEL: That’s a stupid question. You should ask me about this S.O.U.L endeavour instead.

SG 053: You – you know about the S.O.U.L.s?

CASTIEL: Hmm? No, I’ve never heard of them. But your supervisor will probably want to ensure they’re all accounted for.

SG 053: Uh.

CASTIEL: Now then. Who was the last person to speak with Batman? Was it Raphael? I’d like to have a word with that little bitch.

SG 053: Enough! Castiel, if you do not tell me everything you know about the S.O.U.Ls, and your involvement in the destruction of the Green Room, you will remain in this cell until you do!

CASTIEL: Is that so? Perhaps you should consider what it is that I will do to you if you prevent me from meeting with Dean for lunch. I promised my all-and-everything some pie today.

 

-

 

AUDIO RECORDING

INDEX: 20161017.1225

SITE: Cafeteria

PATIENT/S: Hunter Dean; Blood Sammy; The Angel

 

_“No, I’m not having any of that rabbit food.”_

_“Just have one piece, Dean. I worked really hard on this patch, you’ll appreciate it.”_

_“Why would I want that when I’ve got pie?...Don’t give me those puppy dog eyes…ugh, fine, I’ll have one stupid piece; but only because your salad tastes better than any others out there. Why is that?”_

_“I take great care with my babies, making sure they feed well. It’s important for growing plants to get the proper nutrients, you know. Oh, hey Castiel. Is any of that blood yours?”_

_“No. One of the security guards was being uncooperative. I’m sorry I’m late, Dean.”_

_“You’re so hot when your hands are bloody, so I forgive you. I saved some pie for you, Angel.”_

_“Thank you, Dean.”_

_“So how was your interrogation, Castiel?”_

_“It was not of import. However, I think we were right about a conspiracy on both sides of the system.”_

_“Huh. You want to talk to one of our guys about staff activities?”_

_“Later, perhaps.”_

_“Hey, babe, you’ve got some pie on your face. Let me get that for you…Mmmm, yes.”_

_“Ugh, Dean. Really?”_

_“What? I can’t help wanting to lick pie off my Puddin’ – it makes everything twice as delicious.”_

_“Well, I did promise you pie, Dean. If that’s how you want it…”_

_“Oh god, yeah, mmmmm…”_

_“Okay, then! Look, I’m sure to learn something in my garden tomorrow if any inmates are involved. So I’ll leave you two to have your fun.”_

 

-

 

ARKHAM ASYLUM SECURITY LOG EXCERPT

 

20161018 0500 > Program ‘Sandover’ initiated

20161018 0500 > Program [Security codes] accepted

20161018 0501 > File upload initiated

20161018 0501 > Data transfer in progress

20161018 0502 > Data transfer completed

20161018 0503 > Program ‘Sandover’ reinitialised

20161018 0503 > Program [Security codes] reset

 

-

 

MEMORANDUM

FILE NO: #COVERT-ZA-04

FROM: Security Division

TO: Warden Michael

RE: Operation Sandover

 

Good morning Warden,

 

An additional data transfer was received from patient Zachariah Adler (AKA The Monkey) this morning. The file contains 12.2KB of data, all of which had been encrypted with the operator’s standard avian algorithm. However, the patient has neglected to divulge the base code to run the encryption program on this occasion; he is once again insisting upon an audience with you.

 

He has included a summary that promises the data file contains extensive information on the following:

 

The Angel’s involvement in the Green Room explosion;

Evidence relating to the recent disappearance of Security Officer Alistair;

Three possible locations of weapon caches controlled by Team Free Will;

The identity of the rumoured informant ‘Loki’;

 

Please advise whether the patient should be undergo interrogation to reveal the code, or whether this information is sufficient to upgrade his privileges to ‘elite’ status.

 

Regards,

 

Security Division

Arkham Asylum

18/10/2016 08:30

 

-

 

VIDEO FOOTAGE

INDEX: 20161018.1438

SITE: Greenhouse 02

PATIENT/S: Blood Sammy; The Trickster

 

_Sammy kneels by his plants, tending to the soil diligently. As he realigns the placement of his sprinkler drips some of the liquid dribbles onto his fingers and he raises them to his mouth to lick it off. There’s a rustle beyond the plants to his left but he doesn’t turn. A small figure emerges from the fringes of the garden, grinning broadly as he approaches._

_“I’m the Second of Seven;_

_A decision you face;_

_I’m not of the Night;_

_But I am full of grace._

_What am I?”_

_Sammy huffs in amusement as he sits back on his heels. “Tuesday.” He smiles wryly up at The Trickster. “Do you still enjoy asking me that every Tuesday?”_

_“Helloooo, Trickster.” He circles a finger around his face in an exaggerated motion and is delighted when Sammy laughs in response. “I’ve heard there’s a Hunter a-hunting for some information.”_

_Sammy nods. “Dean’s not pleased that someone’s out to compromise his Angel.”_

_“Mean Dean craves puddin’ and pie,” The Trickster sings lasciviously, “and loves to make his Angel sigh.” He props his hands on his hips. “Tell you what, Sammy; answer my next riddle – ”_

_“ – and you’ll tell me what you know.” Sammy finishes. He gestures in invitation and The Trickster recites gladly._

_“The sum of these parts give events symmetry._

_It begins with a lie, a trick, a deceit;_

_Then as a can that holds potted meat;_

_Next listen plainly and add you and I –_

_Finish with tea and a question of why._

_Now thus all together shows consistency.”_

_Sammy twines a vine around his arm as he thinks. The Trickster helps himself to one too with Sammy’s consent and twists it into a circlet. He’s threaded four roses into the crown when Sam offers an answer to the riddle. “Continuity?”_

_The Trickster beams proudly. “DING, DING! Correct!” He places the flower crown onto Sammy’s head and rises to his feet. “I’m impressed. For your answer, you can have this: Monkey says as Monkey sees; and this bodes ill for you and me.”_

_“Thanks, Gabriel.” Sammy plucks one of the reddest roses from the soil and holds it out._

_“No problemmo. Give The Angel my regards.” Nimble fingers twirl the rose gently as they grasp it. “Your garden’s looking mighty fine, by the way. That demon security guard helped you out then?”_

_“Yes, he did.” Sammy adjusts one of the sprinklers again, letting fluid pool in the palm of his hand. “You could say that his sweat and…blood…went into this garden.” Sammy brings his palm up and sucks at the liquid there. When he lowers his hand, his lips have a slight red stain to them._

_The Trickster’s grin is dark as he saunters away towards the exit and Sammy sinks his fingers into the soil beneath the rose bed._

 

-

 

MEDICAL FORM 3B

PATIENT INJURY REPORT

 

Ref No: #ZA-01

PATIENT: Zachariah (The Monkey)

CLASS OF INCIDENT: Assault

PATIENT ADMITTANCE: 18/10/2016 22:10

 

DESCRIPTION OF INJURIES:

Patient was found in the Van Nuys Wing, condition alive but unresponsive. Diagnosis upon admittance to Medical Ward 08 concluded the patient suffered the following injuries:

Several knife inflicted wounds to the chest (the mutilation consistent with the ‘Banishment Sigil’ design as detailed in Ref No: #ANA-02);

A ‘Burnt Feather’ branded onto the skin across the underside of the chin and throat (an affiliated trademark of Hunter Dean);

Extensive blunt force trauma to the forehead, and suspected brain injury;

 

NOTES:

The patient is still in a coma. It is indeterminate at this stage whether the patient will regain consciousness.

 

Medical Administrator

18/10/2016

 

-

 

AUDIO RECORDING

INDEX: 20161019.1137

SITE: Greenhouse 03

PATIENT/S: The Angel; Crossroad;

 

_“Crowley.”_

_“You summoned me, Angel?”_

_“Have you made any progress?”_

_“Yes, in fact. I have two names for you, both of whom harbour some merit of resentment towards you and your boyfriend.”_

_“Give me their names.”_

_“You know how this works, Angel. Fate decides whether or not I serve your interests. Heads, or tails?”_

_“Heads.”_

_“And…heads it is. Orderly Naomi. According to my sources, she has ambitions to reform this facility and thinks having you broken to heel would do wonders for her reputation. She believes that she could manage to rehabilitate you if she severs your dependence on your beloved Hunter.”_

_“If she attempts to harm Dean, it will be the last thing she ever does.”_

_“Quite. Ready to call again?”_

_“Heads.”_

_“Correct again. Orderly Uriel. Apparently he has strong opinions about Dean’s stint in the H.E.L.L Ward, and there are more than just murmurs that he’s looking to send Dean back there. There are also whispers that he wouldn’t shed any tears if you were to become, ah, incapacitated in some manner.”_

_“I see. You’ve been as informative as you always are, when you bring yourself to be. But I feel I should remind you; I am The Angel, you ass. If you ever cease to be useful, or if fate leads you to negligence that brings harm to Dean, I will smite you into oblivion. Am I understood?”_

_“…Always a pleasure, Angel.”_

 

-

 

MEDICAL FORM 3B

PATIENT INJURY REPORT

 

Ref No: #STF-13 & #STF-14

PATIENT/S: Orderly Uriel (ID: O 044) & Orderly Naomi (ID: O 057)

CLASS OF INCIDENT: Assault

PATIENT ADMITTANCE: 19/10/2016 16:25

 

DESCRIPTION OF INJURIES:

Patients were both found in the Rehabilitation Ward, conditions alive and in shock. Diagnosis upon admittance to Medical Ward 08 concluded the patient/s suffered the following injuries:

Severe knife wound to the right shoulder (both patients);

Broken jaw (patient ID: O 044);

Dislocated left wrist (patient ID: O 057);

Superficial knife wound across right eye – no invasive damage (patient ID: O 057);

 

NOTES:

Neither orderly has yet been willing to confirm the identify their attacker, however patient ID: O 044 became irrationally violent when a member of the medical staff mentioned The Angel. Patient ID: O 044 has since been placed in isolation to ensure staff safety and a physiological evaluation is recommended.

 

Medical Administrator

19/10/2016

 

-

 

MEMORANDUM

FILE NO: #COLT-R.03

FROM: Maintenance Division

TO: Inventory Quartermaster

RE: Equipment Request (Requisition #1067252)

 

A request has been lodged for an additional generator to be provided to the Trip Ward. The power drain on this section has increased by 28% over the past few months as a result of the Colt Project being conducted by patient John Milligan (AKA Burn Master).

 

The Colt Project is a prescribed therapy treatment (approved as per File No: #COLT-JM01) in lieu of the patient’s separation anxiety from his wife, Mary.

 

Please advise the Maintenance Division upon the endorsement of Requisition #1067252 and an instalment date shall be scheduled accordingly. Please note that the patient has isolation requirements that must be adhered to during an installation procedure, and as such this will add a two week time frame to the estimated install date.

 

Regards,

 

Maintenance Division

Arkham Asylum

20/10/2016 10:30

 

-

 

ARKHAM ASYLUM SECURITY REPORT

CLASSIFICATION: INTERNAL INVESTIGATION

FILE NO: #BAAL-17

SUBJECT: Balthazar (pseudonym ‘Night Cat’)

CONTENTS: Transcript of Interview conducted RE: contraband smuggling

 

COMMENCEMENT: 1300 – 20.10.2016

CONDUCTED BY: Security Guard Virgil (ID: SG 032)

 

SG 032: So here we are once more, Balthazar.

BALTHAZAR: So it seems.

SG 032: Do you know what this item is?

BALTHAZAR: Actually, yes. It’s the Heavenly Key of Wonders. It is over five thousand years old and is made out of pure gold. The value of it is beyond measure.

SG 032: Would you care to explain why it was in your possession?

BALTHAZAR: I think you mean to say, why it is in my possession. I think you mistakenly believe that even if you do take it away from me after we conclude this lovely little chat, it will no longer belong to me. Because it will, and I will get it back.

SG 032: Answer the question.

BALTHAZAR: I obtained it.

SG 032: How?

BALTHAZAR: The usual way.

SG 032: You’re being deliberately obtuse. Tell me how contraband such as this is being smuggled into the facility.

BALTHAZAR: It’s hardly contraband. My toys aren’t weapons; they’re simple ornaments. My cell is so sparse, you can hardly blame me for wanted to brighten the place up a little.

SG 032: If you can smuggle items like this in, there’s a danger that weapons could also be undetected by security.

BALTHAZAR: Bravo. That was a beautiful piece of deductive reasoning. Something I thought was quite above you.

SG 032: Do I have to throw you back into an isolation chamber?

BALTHAZAR: Neanderthal. I’ve told you before; I leave the arrangements all up to Loki’s discretion.

SG 032: Convenient.

BALTHAZAR: That’s how Loki operates: if he decides you’re good people, you get what you like, and if he decides you’re bad people, then you get what you deserve.

SG 032: Is Loki The Angel?

BALTHAZAR: Ha! Oh no. Is that your working theory? Sorry to disappoint. The Angel doesn’t do subtle. Speaking of The Angel though, I am currently indebted to him. Do you think I should offer him the Key as a gift to square us away?

SG 032: You are not taking this seriously!

BALTHAZAR: When I’m not incarcerated in this boorish facility, I spend my free time dressed in spandex and breaking into resplendent mansions for priceless artefacts to add to my hoard. If you wanted a serious conversation, you should have chosen to interview someone else.

 

-

 

ARKHAM ASYLUM SECURITY LOG EXCERPT

 

20161021 0216 > SECURITY BREACH ALERT PRIORITY

20161021 0216 > SECURITY BREACH ALERT – THE CAGE

20161021 0216 > SECURITY BREACH ALERT – Safeguard ‘SEAL 66’ broken

20161021 0217 > Malfunction [Electrical] in H.E.L.L Ward

20161021 0218 > Malfunction [Coolant] in H.E.L.L Ward

20161021 0220 > Malfunction [Security Doors] in H.E.L.L Ward

20161021 0220 > Manual override [Security Doors] in H.E.L.L Ward

20161021 0220 > SECURITY BREACH ALERT URGENT

20161021 0220 > SECURITY BREACH ALERT – H.E.L.L Ward

20161021 0221 > Protocol ‘Lightbringer’ initiated

20161021 0221 > Protocol ‘Lightbringer’ unable to activate [Coolant error]

20161021 0224 > Malfunction [Coolant] in Ilchester Wing

20161021 0225 > Protocol ‘Maryland’ activated

20161021 0226 > Malfunction [Electrical] in Ilchester Wing

20161021 0226 > Protocol ‘Maryland’ disabled

20161021 0228 > Manual override [Security Doors] in Pharmaceutical Lab 03

20161021 0230 > Malfunction [Electrical] in Pharmaceutical Lab 03

20161021 0230 > Malfunction [Coolant] in Pharmaceutical Lab 03

20161021 0231 > *DURESS ALARM [ID: DR 043]

20161021 0231 > *DURESS ALARM [ID: DR 025]

20161021 0231 > *DURESS ALARM [ID: DR 038]

20161021 0231 > Malfunction [Communications] in Pharmaceutical Lab 03

20161021 0235 > Protocol ‘Carthage’ disabled

20161021 0235 > Protocol ‘Elysian Fields’ disabled

20161021 0236 > SECURITY BREACH ALERT PRIORITY

20161021 0236 > SECURITY BREACH ALERT – CROATOAN SECTOR

20161021 0236 > *DURESS ALARM [ID: DR 027]

20161021 0242 > WARNING – CONTRAVENTION OF QUARANTINE ORDER

20161021 0243 > Manual override [Security Codes] in Red Zone

20161021 0243 > WARNING – CONTAINMENT FAILURE

20161021 0244 > Manual override [Security Codes] in Black Zone

20161021 0244 > WARNING – CONTAINMENT FAILURE

20161021 0245 > Manual override [Security Codes] in Green Zone

20161021 0245 > WARNING – CONTAINMENT FAILURE

20161021 0246 > Manual override [Security Codes] in Pale Zone

20161021 0246 > WARNING – CONTAINMENT FAILURE

20161021 0247 > SECURITY BREACH ALERT MAINFRAME

20161021 0247 > ^HACK [Foreign program] detected

20161021 0247 > Protocol ‘Horsemen’ initiated

20161021 0247 > SYSTEM FAILURE

\-------- ---- > ERROR

20161021 0423 > SYSTEM REBOOT

 

-

 

AUDIO RECORDING

INDEX: 20161021.0600

SITE: The Cage

PATIENT/S: Lucifer;

 

_“Good morning, Doctor. And such an early morning it is too. You look quite stressed. Is everything all right?”_

_“Don’t waste time with false pleasantries, Nick.”_

_“Nick? Well, you’ll call me what you wish to of course, but that isn’t the name I answer to. And your accusation that I could be false wounds me. Nothing is more frightening than the truth.”_

_“Lucifer. Please, tell me the truth then. Where are the samples?”_

_“Somewhere safe now, liberated from the ignorance of lesser beings.”_

_“Is that your justification for the atrocities you committed today?”_

_“It is simply the truth. Though I must admit that poor Doctor Baldur held out longer than I thought he would; one minute longer, to be precise. This does not excuse his sins, but it does grant his death a sliver of honour. Don’t you agree?”_

_“I will not let you draw me into another debate about the nature of sin. Let us return to the matter at hand. Lucifer, the samples are dangerous. You must tell me where you’ve hidden them.”_

_“Dangerous, yes. It’s awe-inspiring, what can be wrought from so little. War; Famine; Pestilence; Death. The horror they invoke stems from our most basic of fears.”_

_“I want the samples.”_

_“Hmm…You want them?”_

_“Yes!”_

_“Very well, Doctor. I’ll let you have one.”_

_“You will tell me where they all are, Lucifer, it – ah!”_

_“Let us shine a light onto your fears.”_

_“What – what have you done?! Ah, ah! What is this?!”_

_“Pestilence.”_

_“It burns! God, aargh, no!_

_“You have always feared maladies of the flesh, have you not, Doctor? Isn’t that why you became a physician; to escape your childhood nightmares of men melting away into mummies before your eyes?”_

_“Oh, god. God!”_

_“Do you know what physicians are, Doctor? False gods. They wield the forces of life and death in their hands and believe themselves accomplished. But psychology, that is where true power lies; in the mind. Knowing precisely what may make up a man…and what may unravel his soul.”_

_“No! Please! Stop! No! No!”_

_“Shhhh.”_

 

-

 

MEMORANDUM

FILE NO: #CAGE-02

FROM: Security Division

TO: Warden Michael

RE: Security Breach – Croatoan Samples

 

Good evening Warden,

 

As you are aware, early this morning patient Nick Morningstar (AKA Lucifer) broke out of The Cage and raided the Croatoan Sector of Pharmaceutical Lab 03, stealing a chemical sample from each of the four Zones.

 

When Doctor Mercury (ID: DR 021) attempted to obtain information from the patient he was attacked with the Green Zone sample (‘Pestilence’), which has an acidic molecular component that slowly consumes any biological material it comes into contact with. Information received from Doctor Kali (ID: DR 005) indicates that the infection would have spread exponentially from the original exposure and is of the opinion that ID: DR 021 would have been declared deceased between 06:30 and 08:30 hours. (Security has not been able to regain access into The Cage to confirm this as yet.)

 

The Red Zone sample (‘War’) was inadvertently triggered by Orderly Madison (ID: O 011) in Medical Ward 02 at 10:15, which unleashed a plume of hallucinogenic gas. The Ward was immediately quarantined as per regulation S02.17 – this quarantine is still in effect. ID: DR 005 estimates the hallucinogen will take 72 hours to dissipate.

 

The Black Zone sample (‘Famine’) and the Pale Zone sample (‘Death’) are still unaccounted for. Seven security teams are currently assigned to the search. They have already vetted all of the Greenhouses, Medical Wards, and Inventory Stores. Your personal guard, Raphael, will be paged directly upon any new developments.

 

Of extreme concern is that Lucifer painted the words “DEATH FOR THE ANGEL” on the main doors into the H.E.L.L Ward in blood* prior to resealing himself in The Cage. Castiel (AKA The Angel) was placed into isolation as a precaution at 04:45 but he was not in possession of the Death sample at that time. He maintains that he does not know where Lucifer would have hidden it and is uninterested in Lucifer’s attempt to gain favour with him once again. As per regulation S04.20, a patient can only be held in an isolation chamber for 40 consecutive hours, and as such The Angel is due to be released at 20:45 tomorrow.

 

[*Nurse Masters (ID: N 011) confirmed that the blood samples taken from the scene match samples from ID: DR 043; ID: DR 025; and ID: DR 038 – her final report is still pending submission.]

 

Please advise whether authority is given to use the Enochian Protocol to incapacitate Lucifer while the security safeguards for The Cage are reset.

 

Regards,

 

Security Division

Arkham Asylum

21/10/2016 18:00

 

-

 

VIDEO FOOTAGE

INDEX: 20161022.2108

SITE: Crypt – Alpha

PATIENT/S: Hunter Dean; The Scribe; The Angel;

 

_Dean stands in the middle of the room, his expression one of dark defiance. “You don’t scare me.” He hefts his baseball bat determinedly. “I’m going to gank your ass, bitch.” He saunters towards the figure swathed in the shadows and swings his bat through the air._

_The man catches it mid-strike, a few feet away from his head. He tears it from the Hunter’s grasp. Then he seizes Dean by his collar and hurls him into the nearest wall._

_Dean collapses on the floor at the base of it. “Ack.” He spits out a mouthful of blood and glares._

_The masked figure advances towards Dean deliberately, cape billowing out behind him. “I am not the hero this town needs.” He declares dramatically. “But I am the – ”_

_“You’re not Batman!”_

_A whirl of silver simultaneously accompanies the viciously snarled words; it slices across The Scribe’s throat mid-sentence. He gurgles as he crumples and The Angel looks down at him contemptuously._

_Dean hauls himself to his feet and seizes his bat. He stalks up to where The Scribe lies sprawled and begins to beat his corpse, punctuating each thump of the bat with a word. “That’s. What. You. Get. For. Stealing. My. Puddin’s. Grace. You. SON. OF. A. BITCH!”_

_The Angel’s eyes glitter with intent. “Dean. Did he harm you?”_

_“Nope.” Hunter Dean grins as he swings his bat around and braces it on his shoulder. “I’m fine, Angel.” They stare at each other for a bit._

_The Angel moves first, reaching for Dean and slamming him back against the wall. Dean lets his bat roll away and runs his hands up The Angel’s back, pulling him close. Castiel claims his mouth hard, biting at Dean’s bottom lip. Dean moans in appreciation and digs his fingernails into The Angel’s shoulders._

_“I missed you,” Castiel growls as he draws back. He avoids Dean’s attempt to chase his mouth but doesn’t object to Dean tracing his tongue up the black lines tattooed along his neck instead. “Have they found Death or Famine yet?”_

_“The guards found Famine three hours ago in the cafeteria.” Dean’s fingers slide up further, burying themselves in The Angel’s hair and tugging. “It was a glorious mess. Most of the guards are still trying to sort it out.”_

_They kiss eagerly again. “And Death?” The Angel murmurs against Dean’s lips._

_“Mmmm. God, Cas…” Dean whines when The Angel leans away once more and raises an eyebrow. The Hunter leans his head back against the wall. “I’ve found Death for you, Angel. I know where it is.”_

_“You’re so good to me, Dean.” Castiel rewards him with another deep kiss. “Let’s hold hands and ride off this cliff together then, shall we?”_

 

-

 

MEDICAL FORM 4A

PATIENT DEATH CERTIFICATE

 

This is to acknowledge that Metatron ‘The Scribe’ was pronounced clinically dead

On the Twenty-Third Day of October in the Year Two Thousand and Sixteen

With the cause of death being exsanguination from cut throat injury

 

Certificated by the Arkham Asylum Medical Administrator

23/10/2016 01:00

 

Form No: #05

 

-

 

ARKHAM ASYLUM SECURITY LOG EXCERPT

 

20161023 0124 > SECURITY BREACH ALERT MAINFRAME

20161023 0124 > ^HACK [Foreign program] detected

20161023 0124 > Protocol ‘Righteous Man’ initiated

20161023 0124 > Protocol ‘Angel Blade’ initiated

20161023 0124 > SYSTEM FAILURE

\-------- ---- > ERROR

20161023 0348 > SYSTEM REBOOT

 

-

 

MEMORANDUM

FILE NO: #!CAS-DEAN

FROM: Warden Michael

TO: All Staff – General Broadcast

RE: Prisoner Escape

 

Attention all staff,

 

Patients Castiel ‘The Angel’ and Hunter Dean successfully escaped from Arkham Asylum this morning. They are both considered to be armed and extremely dangerous. They are also believed to be in possession of the Croatoan Pale Zone sample (‘Death’).

 

This information is not yet to be made aware to the general public. Director Edlund and Police Commissioner Singer will be conducting a media release after the panel meeting scheduled for Monday 24/10/2016 at 11:00 hours; Director Edlund will inform the public of the relevant details at that time.

 

Staff members are reminded to be extremely vigilant in regards to the other inmates. Supporters of The Angel are likely to riot as an expression of their worship to his achievement. The Security Division has been authorised to enact the Apocalypse Protocol in the event that the rioting becomes uncontrollable.

 

As a further precaution, Blood Sammy has been quarantined in Greenhouse 02 until such time as The Angel and Hunter Dean are apprehended. Under no circumstances is any member of staff to breach this quarantine. A reminder that The Trickster is known to loiter in proximity to Greenhouse 02 on Tuesdays and that he will remain neutral so long as staff members are agreeable to heed his riddles.

 

Regards,

 

Warden Michael

Arkham Asylum

23/10/2016 07:00

 

-

 

Commissioner Singer closed the file and stared at it for a long moment. “Balls.” Then he opened his desk drawer and pulled out a bottle of whisky. He really, really hated Mondays.

 

-

**Author's Note:**

> -
> 
> In order of appearance, the main character mash ups were as follows:
> 
> Bobby = Commissioner Gordon  
> Castiel = The Joker  
> Dean = Harley Quinn  
> Sam = Poison Ivy  
> Zachariah = Penguin  
> Gabriel = The Riddler  
> Crowley = Two-Face  
> John & Mary = Mr. Freeze & Nora  
> Balthazar = Catwoman  
> Lucifer = Scarecrow  
> Metatron = Fake Batman wannabee
> 
> And as for Batman? Is he dead? Is he AWOL? Who knows? But that kinda tells you who he is…
> 
> Credit to the original artist/s who did the fanart for Harley!Dean, Joker!Cas, and Poison Ivy! Sam. The images are incredible.
> 
> “When super-villains want to scare each other, they tell Joker stories.” – This quote is borrowed from Flash-nemesis The Trickster; in the DC Comics cross-over ‘Underworld Unleashed’ in 1995.
> 
> -


End file.
